Monday, November 17, 2008


Ever been in a funk??? Boy one has been settling on me for a couple of days. The funny thing is i know i'm in one but yet i have a hard time pulling myself out of it. Satan is soooo sneaky. He makes it so comfortable to be there. You know you want out but at the same time it feels comfortable to be sad and depressed, it's easier to just stay there, for me. Not so much for my family. Well today i've decided that i need to pull myself out. i've asked for prayer and by the end of the day i plan to be out and feeling better. It's so stupid how i get there. i guess it's just when i start focusing on me and justifying feeling the way i do. i think this one started with something said, not directly to me, but in my presence that just made me feel so inadequate and makes me question who i am and should i really be in the positions that i am? Am i really good enough or is it that i'm married to Andy and he is but i just get to tag along? Stupid, i know. On top of that, i know the Lord has been talking to me but i haven't obeyed what He has told me to do, i need time to process. I need accountability, someone to stand with me but not pat me on the back, i need consequences, i want to change.
But by the end of the day i will be better. So if you happen to read this, sorry for the vomiting of emotions, it's just who i am today. Now i think i'm going to watch The Christmas Shoes, it's a tear jerker and i need to cry a little more, then off to pull myself up, in the Word i will go.
Pull yourself up today, i know i will....

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

My Birthday

Birthdays...okay i hope this isn't rude to do but i'm going to do it anyways. If you are my friend or family member and you would like to get me a present for my birthday, i'm asking that you not do that and make a donation to our adoption fund at our church. My daughter coming home would give me so much great joy than any gift right now. And you know how much i like presents!!!! You make the checks out to Desert Streams Church and put "adoption" in the memo, they know it's for us. This can be a tax write off so it will benefit you too:) i know my birthday is still over a month away but i know i plan ahead and i'm pretty sure i have friends that plan that way too.Thanks all for supporting us. (if you already got a gift, no worries)
Okay on a side note, Kendal had a soccer game here yesterday and can i just say, i love high school sports!!! It was so much fun, even though he only played 1/2 the game. He is on to the state championships this weekend, we won't be able to make it and i'm sooooo bummed. So send up a prayer for them to WIN!
Blessing to all...

Friday, November 7, 2008

Offically updated

Okay so now i've got the facebook thing going, really fun. It's so good to catch up with friends that i haven't seen in a long time. However i like that i can come to blog and just write. It would be so great if everyone would read it then i wouldn't be explaining things over and over but oh well. At least i know people are interested in my life!!!
Okay can i tell you how awful the waiting process of adoption is!#%? Arrggg is all i have to say. So we go and get fingerprinted in Portland, a 15 minute appointment that just couldn't be done in Bend, then we have to wait for then to finish our paperwork before we can send everything in. And to find out it may take up to 3 months, seriously because according to my timeline we would have already had our daughter by then! So i know there's a purpose and a season for everything but right now i'm just tired of my daughter not being with me. i know she exists, i can feel her, we talk about her but yet i can't be with her. What a crazy feeling, one that i know some mothers can feel with me but for those dads who read this (if any) it's a hard thing for them to feel. If i hadn't felt the Lord give me the timeline of January than i don't think it would be as frustrating but why would he give me January if it doesn't happen by then? Right now i've been telling everyone it'll take a miracle to get her by January and i totally believe that God can work it out, i'm just a little frustrated at the moment. So i will continue to have faith, i'm pretty sure that's the point and if God chooses a different timeline for us than it's His will and i will be okay with that. For any of my prophetic friends out there, let me know if God is telling you anything, please!!! Sometimes it's just really hard to hear for yourself with all your own emotions running through your head. So there you have it, we are waiting for our last piece of paper work. When we get it I will be making a trip over to Salem to have it authenticated and then our paperwork will go to the agency be okayed that everything is there and then go to Ethiopia. From there we will wait for our referral (just to let you know, we are praying that we are the family they have been waiting for, if you want to join in that prayer) we will receive our referral, contact a international doctor to go over the file (over the phone, she's in Portland) then send an acceptance packet and then get our travel date. See what i mean, when you look at all those things it just doesn't make since that we would be going in January to get her, BUT OUR GOD IS BIGGER!!!!! There you have it, that's what is left.
On a different note just to let you all know and have you pray, Andy is preaching this Sunday. He always does a great job, but he is usually nervous so if you think about it, send up a prayer for him!
Okay i'm officially updated for now.
Find joy in a little thing today.